February 23

Today is February 23.  There is nothing special about today.

But today I shall stop being bitter.  February 23 is not a special day, but stopping bitterness doesn't need a special day, it just needs a special will with which to concentrate.  I have been bitter for so long, yes, even if it's only two months--yes, two months is too long to spend on bitterness.  The sweetness of life is waiting in the corner, ready to be slurped and sucked up to let the vibrant colors of life escape.

I'm a zealous person.  Zealous, not jealous.  I may have been jealous the past few days but that will be over now.  Because today I shall stop being bitter, today I shall close the bitter corner of my tongue and open the other corners for all the world to see.  And the world shall taste the sweetness that is my life, because it is no longer bitter as it used to be.

I shall take charge of my life, and I wholeheartedly account for the bitterness that is the past two months.  I take responsibility for all the actions, words, and yes, even videos this bitterness made me do or say.  Two years of happiness doesn't deserve even a month's worth of bitterness.  It's easier said than done but I'll say it anyway because everything starts when we make that first statement--I'm happy that I've been part of your life for a little over two years.  I'm happy, yes, even if I looked and sounded depressed or sad the past few days; that's just me re-adjusting to this new phase we're in right now.  But consider this: I'm happy, I've been happy, and I shall be happy again, even if you are not by my side, even if I can't cuddle in your arms anymore.  You've made me happy, and I'm thankful for that.  Now you are happy, and I have no right to be bitter about it.  I've loved you all these years, endured all the hurts we've caused each other; I don't think it takes a special kind of effort to be happy for you.

Even if it hurts.

So I guess this is goodbye, then... but you see, even in my writing I can't help but make it longer by putting an ellipsis.  It's just so freaking hard to put a period to this, so I won't, because I may still see you in the future, but the two years won't stand between us anymore, only this, only you, only me, and I hope we both will be happy when that time comes.

I love you. I guess I always will...