Do silver clouds have silver linings?

I don't know if you've had a relative die already, but I have, thrice over, and I know the feeling when you bury your dead and you go back to your house and you ask yourself, "what now?"

'Cause that's exactly what I feel right now.  What now?  It's like pieces of me exploded all over the place and I may try best as I could to pick up everything, I know I can't get all the pieces back together.

It's just so unthinkable how one person is capable of such evil.  And the irony is, that one person is the one person you've loved all these years.

I've been skeptic.  I've been cynic.  But now I don't know which to believe anymore, or if I should believe at all--is there a god?  What love?  Hello, universe?  Nihilism at its finest.

Literary narratives almost always have a twist.  Now I'm wondering where the hell is the twist in this one.

I'm sorry for the vagueness.  Kasi tangina isa yun sa pinakamasakit, 'yung wasak na wasak ka na pero hindi mo masabi sa buong mundo ang dahilan, kaya 'di ka nila naiiintindihan, kaya walang masyadong dumadamay sa'yo.  Tangina, kung pwede ko lang sabihin lahat-lahat, ginawa ko na.

='(