A word of advice

Before I proceed, please do check who are the only people who can view this.  This is a very delicate matter, and I don't want to appear like I'm spreading malicious imputations or anything derogatory; but I believe YOU should know about this, just so you'd be prepared.  But please don't spread this, okay?

Last week our J199 prof, Dr. Malou de Ocampo, asked us to submit the RRL and Framework of our thesis.  Since I was going solo for my thesis, I obliged and did my work.  I believe some of you can attest that I didn't sleep Thursday night just to do those parts (Hi K.Lo and Elsie!).

The next day, I submitted my paper to her.  Last Tuesday, she returned the papers, mine having a few marginal notes on the first few pages of the RRL, correcting me of some of the mistakes I've committed.  I even received a 9/10 in that part.  The Study Framework, however, was subject to revision.  I believe she only read the first page of that part, seeing as there were no marginal notes in the succeeding pages.

When I came to class this afternoon, she told me that she wanted to talk to me after class.  At this point I started to get nervous.  When a prof tells you to "see her after class," it only means you've done something wrong or the professor wants to do something "naughty" with you.  Haha.  Seeing as to the impossibility of the latter, I started to jog my mind for possible offenses I may have committed.  But she said it was about my paper.  It could only be one thing if it's about my paper...

So I waited 'til the end of the class so that we could discuss and get it over with.  I tried to convince myself that my worst fear isn't true, that maybe she's just going to commend me for my excellent work (I know, I know, mayabang na.  But I had to appease myself).

When the class ended, I approached her, wanting to talk to her already.  But she told me that she'll "speak to me last."  KABOG, mga friends.  Hindi ko kinaya.  Napakapit talaga ako.  Malalang malala na ito, sabi ko sa sarili ko.  If this is not something serious, I believe she could openly discuss it with me in front of my classmates.  But no.  I'll speak to you last.  At this point nanlalata na talaga ako and I could feel na unti-unti na'kong hina-highblood.

When my turn came, I approached her with my laptop in hand.  She asked for my paper but stupid me, I forgot to bring it.  I showed her a soft copy instead.  Then, she asked: "Did you really do your paper."  Okay, cut.  Fade out.  Soundtrack music off.  Ambient sounds off.  Everything off.  I could feel my blood rushing through my head.  My worst fear was confirmed.  She's accusing me of plagiarism.

Of course, I tried to defend myself.  I told her I really did that work, that I slaved over it, over sleepless nights, blah blah blah blah blah.  But the look on her face, it was very, very revolting.  It was filled with doubt.  She said that my work was "too polished" for a first draft.  At this point I wanted to scream at her face and throw cuss words at her.  But I'm a nice child, so I restrained myself.  I kept on telling her that it was I who did the work, that I slaved over it, paulit-ulit-ulit... Then she asked if I've done the same paper before, or if I copied it off somewhere.  At this point I thought she was fishing for acts of self-plagiarism.  Of course I haven't done it before!  And it's impossible to copy it from somewhere else, seeing as the research gap, the essence, the hole my study was trying to fill with, is the fact that there are no local literature written about the matter.  So it's impossible that somebody else thought of it first!  Kasi ni-research ko talaga ito.  At wala talaga, friends.  Believe me.

I don't know what happened next, or I didn't want to remember.  But I remember staring blankly in her eyes, hers staring back at mine, as if asking me what to do now.  I could see the disbelief in her eyes.  I continued to defend myself, told her I'd show her my sources, pointed her to some of my electronic sources to which she apathetically nodded upon and breezed through.  At this point alam kong hindi sya naniniwala sa'kin.  She was even asking of my framework model.  Gusto ko siyang murahin at this point kasi putangina, halatang hindi niya binasa yung paper ko kasi mga 2 or 3 pages away lang yung framework model ko from the last page she had notes on.  Putangina talaga.

My eyes then started to well up.  With my voice breaking, I told her it's unfair for me to be accused of something as grave as plaigiarism when I've put blood, sweat and tears over my thesis.  At solo na nga ako sa lagay na 'yun eh, so doble talaga ang hirap kasi parehong ako lang ang gumawa.  I felt really, really offended.  I thought to myself, hindi ko deserve ito.  Andami kong hirap na pinagdaanan para sa buwakananginang thesis na yan, to the point of straining friendships, sacrificing trips to the mall or precious Internet time.  Tangina.  Tapos gaganyanin ka lang?!

Nung makita niyang tumutulo na luha ko, nag-iba tono niya.  She started to be nice, telling me that she just asked because she wanted to know/confirm.  EH TANGINA NYA.  If she's going to ask, that's equal to accusing someone kasi you have some sort of assumption going at the back of your mind.  BA'T DI NA LANG SIYA NAGSEARCH SA NET KUNG ALAM NAMAN PALA NIYANG KINOPYA KO LANG??!  For sure nasa Internet yun kung totoo nga.  Eh tangina niya accuse agad eh!  Di man lang chineck or vinerify kung totoo yung perception niya.

Sabi ko na lang sa kanya, para lang matapos na, sabi ko I get her.  She hasn't seen any of my works before kaya niya inisip na ganun.  Pero tangina naman, have we become so cynical that a work that stood out in class (her words, not mine) is something to be approached with doubt?  Tangina.  Ganun na ba tayo ka-jaded?  Na isang magandang bagay to come out of this pile ay hindi totoo, na peke, na kiyeme-kiyeme lang at 'di dapat paniwalaan?!  BULLSHIT!

Andami kasing nakaka-aggravate na factors eh.  One, THESIS ito, friends.  THESIS.  Hindi lang basta-basta article o ano eh, THESIS.  Naka-attach yung bibliography ko, sana chineck niya.  Kumpleto 'yun.  Tangina hirap na hirap ako maghanap kung pano mag-bibliography na APA style eh!  Sana umabot man lang siya sa page na 'yun.

Two, Comm Res dept sya galing eh.  DIBAAAA???!!  Hindi ko na kailangan i-explain.  Nakaka-aggravate talaga siya.

Three, sabi nga ni Sheila Coronel, we live in the age of the Internet.  Taena isang Google search lang yun kumpirmado mo na kung nag-plagiarize yung tao o hindi eh.  Pakshet.

Four, returning employee sya.  Nag-retire na siya before.  So hindi ko alam kung expert ba talaga siya sa bagay na yan for her to be throwing accusations around like that.  Tangina kung si Chua 'to manginginig na tuhod ko, pakshet aamin agad ako kahit hindi totoo eh.  Pero hindi sya si Ma'am Chua eh.  SHE WILL NEVER BE 1/1000000000000000 PARTS OF WHAT MAM CHUA REALLY IS.

Nangyari na 'to sa isang kakilala eh.  And now I understand what that person feels.  Nakakagalit nang sobra-sobra.  Instead na purihin ka sa paghihirap na ginawa mo, gagaguhin ka pa, pagbibintangan ka pang nangopya o nanggaya sa iba.  Tanginang lipunan yan!

Ang nakakainis pa, sobra-sobra na pangdi-drill nila ng PLAGIARISM PLAGIARISM PLAGIARISM words of caution sa mga estudyante, eh alam ba nila kung pano iaapproach yung mga ganyang kaso?!  Hindi eh.  Half the time unfounded yung mga claims nila eh.  Diba?  Nakakangitngit ng wisdom tooth eh.

Ayun lang.  Sobrang sinira niya talaga araw ko.  Strike two siya, friends, strike two.  Pangalawa nang foul na ginawa sa'kin this week.  Taena talaga world 'wag ka sa-strike three sa'kin di mo magugustuhan mangyayari!!!

Gusto kong pasalamatan sina K.Lo, Dyan at Hannah na super pinasaya ako kanina nung naiiyak-iyak na talaga ako.  Taena I can't live without you friends!!!  Alabshu (yickee!)!!!  Hahaha.  Seryoso.  I really appreciate it, friends.  You have uplifted my spirits.  Maaasahan ko talaga ang aking Greek Chorus.  Hahahaha.

Yun lang.  Word of advice lang sa'ting lahat.  Sana hindi rin mangyari sa'yo 'to.  Sana hindi na mangyari kahit kaninuman.  Nakakainis eh.  Diba??!