Places

Most of us are, at one point or another, disturbed by that one unnerving question that attempts to define our very existence: what am I doing in this world?  To some, the answer seemingly comes quick as a passing day, but to most of us who are oblivious to the mysteries of the world, the answer doesn't come at once, or sometimes, doesn't come at all.

At the risk of being antaganostic, I believe that question doesn't need answering at all.  It's what we do that answers the question, not the answer that dictates what we do.  But sometimes, it's comforting to learn where you stand in life, who your friends are, what you want to have, why you do what you do, and so on, and so forth.  The answer-for-now gives a sense of security, of direction, of purpose, albeit a temporary one.

And that is why I have gone on an emotional dip these past few days.  Somehow, in some way, when I got back to school and saw (at the same time didn't see) all my friends, I was jolted back to reality, my reality.  But somehow, in some way, things are different, things have changed.  Friends have graduated, and new faces have come in.  New people have filled the voids left by those who left.  And, once again, I was forced to adjust to the situation.

And you know how hard that could be.  I'm known to be a flexible person, always understanding and mindful of the influx of change happening around me, but let's admit it--it's hard to adjust especially if you're suddenly yanked out of your comfort zone, thrown down to the pits of oblivion where you know nothing of what makes you feel safe and secure.

So yeah, the past week has become one big re-adjustment phase: to the last year of college life, to newfound friends, to old friends with renewed commitment, to my purpose in life, to my place in people's minds and hearts.  Somehow, the paranoia got to me, and the feeling of insecurity consumed me.  Hence, the emo phase (which, knees and arms clasped together, I'm asking for forgiveness).

Fortunately, someone just gives you an arm and saves you from that momentary delusion, lifts you up from the darkness you were trapped in, and brings you back to the light of the world.  And thank God He created those kinds of people, because without them, even the little that they do, I believe we wouldn't even know of Happiness in this world.

So, thank you.  =)

*Emo photo from http://st.blog.cz